Asma Radiallahu anha said to
her daughter at the time of her marriage:
"You
are going to spend such a life where you shall have to live long and
you are going to the bed of such a person who you have no acquaintance.
You are going to love one with whom you had no love before.
Make for him such a world, which will be heaven for you, prepare
for him such a bed, which will be a pillar for you. Be such a slave
for him that he may become your slave. Don't go willingly to him,
lest you become to him an object of hatred. Don't remain far from him,
lest he may forget you. When he remains near you, be near him, when
he stays distant from you save your nose, ears and eyes. Let him not
get from you except sweet smiles. Let him not hear from you except sweet
words. Let him not see in you except beauty"
This
is very touching advice from a mother to her daughter, I am not
aware
of its source. here goes..
1.
Lead a life of contentment. Be content even with simple food. The dry
bread and water, which is eaten with contentment, is better than a rich
meal, which is eaten after your persistent complaints, forcing him
to grudgingly provide it for you.
2.
Always listen attentively to what your husband says. Give importance
to what he says and do as he says. In this manner, you will soon
win a place in his heart, because it is not really a person who is
beloved, but what the person does that is most loved.
3.
Tend your beauty carefully so that whenever he will look at you, he will
be pleased with his choice. Within the limits of decency, use as much
fragrance as possible, and remember that no part of your body or dress
should repulse him.
4.
Be always attractive to him, put Surma in your eyes, for beautiful eyes
make a person's whole being beautiful in the eyes of the beholder.
Bath and do ablution regularly, as this is the best perfume and
the best way to cleanliness.
5.
Prepare his meals before it is time as hunger becomes a flame if not
satisfied. During the hours of rest, keep it quiet and peaceful as disturbed
sleep makes a man miserable and angry.
6.
Protect his home and treasure; let no one enter the house without his
permission and do not waste his treasure by indulging in exhibition,
for treasure can only be tended through good management and
the family only through good sense.
7.
Never disobey him and always keep his secrets, for disobeying such a
honorable man would put fuel to fire and revealing his secrets would
destroy his trust in you. And you, yourself will not be safe from
his (retaliatory) double standards. Someone has rightly said “To be
trusted is better than to be loved."
8.
If he is grieved over something, then do not mention to him anything
that has pleased you. Share his grief. When he is happy, do not
disclose your hidden grief and do not complain to your husband about
his behavior. Be happy with him. Otherwise you will be regarded as
one who confuses him.
9.
If you wish to be respectable in his eyes, then honor and respect him
and act according to his wishes. Then at every stage of your life you
will find him to be your best companion.
10.
Hold fast onto this advice from me. Sweet flowers will not blossom in
your life as long as you do not suppress your wish for his pleasure.
My dear daughter, my darling! I bid farewell with these words
and give you in Allah's care. May He make all steps in your life good
and preserve you from all evil... [aamiin]
Our
Special Du'aa
May
Allah bless us with the ability to implement these advices into
our
married lives, and may Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala bless us with the
ability
to fulfill all the responsibilities and promises that come
with
the bond of marriage... aamiin.
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