By Sister
Megan.
1) Compete for serving each other a date or sip of water first.
2) Pray together more often when possible in the home.
3) Resist the temptation to chat during the
time for dhikr after Salah. Support each other in finishing it.
4) Make sure to spend ten minutes hugging or
touching before bedtime so that the exhaustion of fasting and taraweeh
doesn't create too much separation between both of you. Touch is to be treasured for married couples.
5) Ask each
other your Ramadan goals so you can be a
source of compassion, support, and understanding for their greatest spiritual
needs.
6) When
things get sluggish, be the one who
encourages with love to keep going and doing extra acts of worship.
7) Tune in: when you miss your spouse
let them know verbally. It's ok to find
the extra time away a little difficult. Use Fearless Vulnerability to let
them know so their heart can catch up with yours. Just don't let the space lead
to frustration and tension.
8) Find ways
to show more gratitude for each other. Make
du'a for them verbally, drop an email, or leave a small note.
9) Welcome your spouse's desire to change rather than
hold them to their "normal self." If they want Qur'an in the car vs.
music, to attend the masjid for prayer vs. stay at home, allow the newness to
be welcomed.
10) Avoid shaming for who they are when they
aren't as religious in one area as you'd prefer. Ramadan doesn't make a
miracle change out of most of us. For one spouse, just fasting itself could be
extremely difficult. For another, it's praying Fajr on time. One spouse may
recite the whole Qur'an with ease, but another finds dhikr easiest for them to
do. Whatever you say - make sure your intention is to show love, respect,
gratitude, or support for your spouse this coming month and be a positive
person in their life.
*That alone
is one of the greatest forms of da'wah you could ever hope for, and who better
to be your best self to than your own spouse?*
May Allah bless us all to find His infinite Mercy in Ramadan and find the
fruits of those days in a cool Shade on the Day of Judgment, in the ability to
fly over the sirat radiating beautiful light, and a celebration of pure joy and
bliss with those we love in gardens in Jannah, with rivers, fields of green,
towering trees, and other unimaginable beauty that Allah has created for those
who seek Him.
