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In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most
Merciful
By Sheikh Salman al-'Awdah
Who does not have problems?
Problems are a part of life. If it were not for distance
and separation, people would never know the joy of meeting and reunion. If it
were not for poverty, people would not know wealth. And if it were not for
sorrow, people would not know joy.
In this manner, Allah has permitted the world to be a place
of passage, where pleasure is accompanied by pain and laughter by tears, a
world where the degree and severity of suffering is commensurate to the degree
of happiness a person feels when that suffering goes away.
Every home has its problems, as does every office,
corporation, and country. Every soul is afflicted with its own inner problems.
When a person knows that his own self does not comply with what he wants from
it and does not fulfill his expectations, and that it often shames him and
disappoints him unbearably, then what can he possibly expect from others?
What can he hope to expect from the difficulties that arise
from social interactions, whether they occur within a family setting, or among
neighbors, or between colleagues and business partners, or with those who he
meets on the road?
In spite of all this, the goodness, companionship, and
human welfare that social interactions bring about can never be attained by a
person who lives in isolation. The evils brought about by seclusion are far
greater than the discomfort that comes from dealing with others.
How many people have tried to solve their problems by
cutting off their dealings with others and going into seclusion? They seek to
treat their ailments with something that is a sickness itself. They wind up
longing to return to the very circumstances that they had so much detested
before.
A woman feels that she can not stand to live with her
husband's behavior any more and sees divorce as the only solution. Then when
she gets what she wants, she feels like she is going to die of loneliness and
starts to think of a way to undo what she had done.
An employee feels he can not bear his job any longer so he
quits his job. After a while, though, he starts looking for people to intercede
on his behalf as he repeatedly tries to get his job back.
This is why it is not sensible to hastily resort to
severing ties, thinking that this is going to get to the root of the problem
and make it just go away. This course of action can possibly cause much more
suffering than before.
Specialists in problem management have set down the
following practical steps for dealing with one's problems. These steps can be
summarized as follows:
- Perceiving
and recognizing the problem.
- Defining
the problem correctly.
- Research,
examination, and fact finding, with a focus on pinpointing causes.
- Setting
down alternatives and options, then evaluating them and weighing their
pros and cons.
- Determining
the option that will provide the best solution to the problem.
These steps can only be put into practice by a person who
can approach his problems with a calm, level head. Reactions that are
spontaneous and overemotional only serve to cloud a person's judgment, making
it seem that the only solution is to completely divorce oneself from the source
of the problem and with everything that in any way relates to it.
The problem could actually come from the deep within a
person's character or personal history and cannot be simply shrugged off. It
could also come from unavoidable circumstances outside of that person's
control.
Often we besiege ourselves with problems and difficulties.
This is not to say that those problems are not real. They definitely are. But
we often have many good ways of getting around them. We do not have to dwell on
them. We need to seek the help of Allah and cling hard to the firm handhold
that He provides, repeating the words: "You alone we worship and You alone
we beseech for help."
One of the supplications that the Prophets of old used to
make goes as follows: "O Allah! Yours is the praise. You are the one whose
help we seek. You are the one on whom we rely. Yours is the aid that we seek.
There is no might and no strength except with Allah, the High and Mighty."
We can look at our problems as they really are and strive
to get rid of them or at least minimize them, without letting them suffocate us
or hold us back. Our problems must not make us stop working and living
productive lives. We can also defer some problems that we cannot solve at the
present time and wait for Allah, in whose hands rest all affairs, to relieve us
of them
It is related from Ibn Mas`ûd that Allah's Messenger said:
"The best form of worship is to wait for relief." [Sunan
al-Tirmidhî (3571), al-Bazzâr (Majma` al-Zawâ'id 10/147), and al-Bayhaqî in
Shu`ab al-Imân (7/204)] This narration, though, is weak. [1]
At the same time, there can be no doubt that expecting
relief from Allah is a form of worship, since it is part of being patient. This
brings to our attention an important yet often overlooked fact - that many
problems can be solved, but not by jumping ahead of things. They must be
approached one step at a time. Haste can lead to making our problems more
deeply entrenched than they were before. Sometimes the best solution is to
postpone action and be patient until the right opportunity comes along for a
solution to be sought.
Patience, then, is necessary in all cases. Therefore, we
have been encouraged - actually commanded - to be patient. The word patience,
in all of its morphological forms, comes in the Qur'ân about 103 times. Without
patience to beautify our deeds, our efforts come to nothing. This is what `Umar
meant when he said: "We found the best of our lives in patience." [Al-Bukhârî
(6104)]
We can solve some problems with Allah's help, and we can
minimize others. As for those problems for which we cannot find a solution, we
can do our best to accommodate them. If a person were to take a small square,
no bigger than the palm of his hand, and place it right in front of his eye,
that small square would completely block his vision. The same thing can be said
of problems when we make them larger than they actually are and give over to
them a good share of our lives, thoughts, and feelings so they become a serious
impediment to our moving forward and living productively. The classical Arabian
poet Mutanabbih writes:
The eye of a small person makes small things look large
And the eye of a great person makes great calamities look
small.
And
When a man grows accustomed to dwelling in the fear of
death
Its arrival becomes the easiest possible event.
Without the least doubt, a person is going to face
difficulties from his family, sometimes because they are worried about him, and
sometimes because they are angry with him for violating their norms and
customs, and sometimes because they love him, as love can bring about its own
stresses.
He is going to face difficulties from society, from his
school or university, from his job, and from the people he chooses to interact
with.
Moreover, he is going to have to deal with difficulties
emanating from within himself. Within him will be tendencies pulling him to do
good and others pulling him to do evil. It will be as if his own inner
condition is saying to him: "Why is it that I call you to salvation, yet
you call me to the Fire?"
At the same time, this person, by way of supplication,
devotion in prayer, and humility, will find Allah's help and support, and Allah
will bless him the strength of will that he needs. He will also find help and
support from his believing brethren who follow the same path.
Even when a problem springs from the inner depths of our
being, we still must not let it bring us down. We must start afresh, take an
assessment of our injuries, and bring our scattered wishes together. Then we
must keep our eyes on the future instead of always looking back.
Is not Allah the one who is Oft Forgiving and accepts our
repentance? Are not we human beings all prone to error? Our hearts can be
cleansed with the knowledge that Allah is forgiving and by keeping hope before
us. We must leave our vanities and base passions aside so they will not kill
our souls. A believer takes refuge in his Lord and keeps the company of people
who will help him overcome the obstacles along the way and help him to
strengthen his resolve and his commitment. If he pulls himself up every time he
stumbles, he will surely arrive.
Footnotes:
1. It is related by al-Bazzâr from Anas with a weak chain of transmission that contains an unknown narrator. Ibn al-Jawzî in al-`Ilal (2/864) and al-Fayd (2/44) declares the narration to be unauthentic.
1. It is related by al-Bazzâr from Anas with a weak chain of transmission that contains an unknown narrator. Ibn al-Jawzî in al-`Ilal (2/864) and al-Fayd (2/44) declares the narration to be unauthentic.
Courtesy Of: IslamToday.net
Source: kalamullah.com Figure: thinqfitness.com
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