How to gain benefits in our Life?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

By Ibn Al-Qayyim Jawziyya (r.a.)

There are two kinds of meeting between friends:

The first is a meeting based on sociability and spending time, in which are more disadvantages than advantage, the least of which is corruption of the heart, and wasting time.

The Second kind is a meeting for the sake of supporting one another, and recommending one another to the truth and to patience. This is the best kind, yet there are still three disadvantages therein,

      1.    Flattering each other.

2.    Being excessively talkative.

3.    That such meetings become a habit or routine and they fail to achieve their aims.

Enjoying health, this worldly life, status, a wife or children, then surely those feelings are temporary and will eventually dissipate.

There are three kinds of passive feelings, which affect the heart and they are either related to the past, which causes sorrow, or related to the future so as to cause grief, of finally related to the present so as to cause distress.

If the heart is not pure or honorable enough, and distance from every evil and malice, then it is unworthy to love, know and aspire to Allah. On the contrary, the lowest description of man’s heart is that he loves and aspires to this worldly life instead to Allah, the Almighty.

When man’s love, knowledge and aspiration is directed in this worldly way, the heart becomes narrow and gloomy as it is distant from the source of its revival and life.

Subsequently, the hearts of man can be divided into two kinds, the first of which is the heart of those, who incline to the Beneficent, which is the source of brightness, life, happiness, pleasure, delight and blessings.

The second one is the throne of the devil where narrowness, darkness, death, sorrow, distress and grief are settled therein. This heart is obsessed by sorrow for the past, and grief and distress for the present.

In order for a place to contain something, it must be free from whatever contradicts it. This principle applies to mankind and all creation as well as to belief and desires. So, if the hearts is obsessed by belief in falsehood, there will be no place for truth.

Accordingly, if the tongue is involved in trivial discourse, one shall be incapable of useful speech, unless falsehood is abandoned.Hence, if the body is busy doing wrong actions, then acts of worship will be inapplicable unless these contradictory actions are abandoned.

Stand firm against evil thoughts, for if you fail to do so, they will become ideas, if you do not, they will become desires, so fight against them. If you do not, they will become a form of determination and intention, if you do not resist, they will become actions, and if you do not follow them up with their opposite, they will become habits that will be hard to quit.

He, who did not make use of his eye, did not make use of his ear.

The servant has a veil between him and Allah and another one between him and people. Whoever tore this veil between him and Allah, Allah will tear the veil between him and people.

The servant has a Lord that he will stand in front of and a house that he will live in, so he must seek the pleasure of Allah before meeting Him and he should furnish his house before moving into it.

Loosing time is harder than death, as loosing time keeps you away from Allah and the Hereafter, while death keeps you away from worldly life and people.

The whole world from its beginning until its end is not worth an hour of sadness, so what about the sadness of whole life.

What we love today will catch up with what we hate tomorrow, and what we hate today will catch up with what we love tomorrow.

The most precious reward during life is to busy yourself with most suitable and useful matters in their exact and suitable time.

How can he be rational who sells Paradise and what is in it, for one hour of passing pleasure?

The pious man will leave this worldly life while he did not obtain satisfaction in two matters: crying for himself and praising Allah.

If you are afraid of any creature, you will run away from it. When you are afraid of Allah, you will love Him and seek to be close to Him.

If knowledge is useful without actions, Allah, the Exalted would never have dispraised the people of the book, and if actions were useful without devotions, He would never have have dispraised the hypocrite.

Piety has Three Levels

1. Protecting the heart and limbs against sin and forbidden actions.

2. Protecting them against undesirable matters.

3. Protecting against curiosity and whatever is not of one’s concern.

The first will grant life to the servant, the second will grant his health and power, and the third will grant him happiness and joy.

The sea of pleasures may drown its owner and the swimmer fears to open his eyes under water.

Passing days are like dreams, the coming ones are wishes, and the time separating them is wasted.

Buy for yourself (through doing good deeds) while there is still a market and you have the ability to buy.

If you do not work hard and face difficulties along your way in seeking glory, you will never taste honor and relief when you attain victory.

It was said to one of the worshipers: You are tiring yourself so much! He said: I want to achieve comfort from it.

The human being was honored with blessings of faith and good health, but he misused them, so they were justly taken away from him.

The truth will only be shown to perceptive people who will use the light of their minds to see the consequences of the matters they face.

The pleasures of life are similar to brides who are dressing for those who will prefer and choose; them or the brides (rewards) of the Hereafter, and whoever knows the significant difference between the two, will choose the best (the Hereafter).

Afflictions are but trials by which the faithful are distinguished from the unfaithful, and if you were to succeed therein, they would be turned to supporters by which you could attain your objective.

No one can indulge in unlawfulness except for two reasons, the first of which is failing to trust in Allah, despite the fact that if one obeys Him, he will surely be granted the best of lawful gains.

The second reason is knowing that whoever abandons anything for the sake of Allah, surely He will grant him something better than what he has abandon.

Unfortunately, his vain desires surpass his patience and his inclination overpowers his mind, The first one has poor knowledge, and the second one has poor insight.

How can one feel secure, who has an unmerciful wife, an unforgiving son, a distrusting neighbor, a friend who gives no advice, a partner who misjudges him, an enemy whose hostility never ceases, a soul that is inclined to evil, an adorned world, vain desires, influential lusts, furious anger, the deception of Satan, and controlling weakness? If Allah rescued and guided him, all those problems would be under control, and if Allah deserted and abandoned him, leaving him on his own, all these distresses would cause his destruction.

He who tastes the pleasure of good health, surely the bitterness of patience will become easy for him.

The aim has priority in estimation, it is the last in existence, it is the principle according to the mind, and it is the end of the journey.

Source : Al-Fawa’id A Collection Of Wise Sayings Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Jawziyya (r.a.)

5 Cool Things that Happen In Hot Ramadan!

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the  Most Merciful.

By Abu Aishah.

Fasting gets tough in summer, and tougher for those who work outside air-conditioned offices. But I am not going to talk about how to stay cool (body temperature wise) in summer. That’s for the physical trainers and nutritionists to tackle. What I am going to point out here are things which we do in Ramadan that we do not realize are cool (awesome) for us as common Muslims. Realization of completing one level gives a boost of confidence to excel in the next, in turn, pumping moretaqwa in our souls. If we take a minute and have a look at our mirrors, we should say to ourselves “Abdullah (you), you are doing great; and yes, you are better than this”. 

Super Fasting of Inputs in summer is the next level of fasting. The heat consumes all the comfort of our movements throughout the day and gives us nothing but tiredness and intense thirst. That’s why I said “Super Fasting”, rather than ‘fasting’. Inputs to our bodies includes eyes, ears and feelings along with our mouths (for consuming food), which are strictly monitored. We remind ourselves while browsing,  press the mute button when the music comes up and keep away from our spouses during the day. In other words, different senses in our bodies are fasting as well. Isn’t it cool that we are able to strictly monitor our senses and keep calm while consciously depriving our physical needs for the sake of Allah ? I think it’s great. 

Super Fasting of Outputs is nothing but how we monitor our output devices, in other words, how they fast with us. Tongue and limbs keep working for us throughout the day. Hunger, thirst and tiredness act as catalysts to ignite a flamethrower in us when anybody makes a tiny mistake. It’s indeed a miracle when we manage to keep our anger in control and let our hands and tongue work in the opposite direction i.e., by showing good behavior. Isn’t it cool to stretch and twist our bodies and souls with patience in difficult moments just to be good Muslim (in turn, obeying Allah  continuously and to be precise, developing taqwa (Qur’an 2:183))? I think, it’s awesome. 

Iftaar with a few dates and some water will literally make you forget that it’s Ramadan. By the end of maghrib prayer, I feel so light and normal, like as if I haven’t fasted the whole day! A normal dinner makes my night prayers much more active. Isn’t it cool that Allah   magically makes you so normal and calm after a tiring sunny day? I think, it’s incredible.

I still wonder why some people are so concerned about their food shopping before Ramadan when a  single date box can act as a perfect brotherly gift.

Praying Taraaweh (the night prayer) wasn’t our habit. We didn’t even think that we would go for an extra mile to pray nawafil prayers regularly. However, during Ramadan, we pray taraweeh in the peak active hours, which on a regular day, would have been reserved for friends and hobbies. Isn’t it cool that we lift ourselves from being an average worshiper and try to reach excellence? 

Praying Witr was hardly an option before Ramadan. Many people are not even sure how to pray witr. Ramadan teaches us the two (sunnah) ways of prayingwitr accompanied with lots of duas. Can you recall how many days went by before you raised your hands to ask something from Allah ? In Ramadan, we ask so much that it kicks back a feeling of being a helpless needy servant in front of Allah . Isn’t it cool to realize one’s real status in front of Allah  at least for a month in a whole year? Isn’t it cooler that these acts of ours is *in* Ramadan when Allah  said that He   is looking out to answer His servant’s prayers? Woohoo! I think, it’s amazing how Allah   wants to dip us in His Blessings and Mercy in this month. The pleasure is all ours. Let’s shift the gear to push ourselves to the next level of worship, insha Allah.

Source: Islamiconlineuniversity.com

A girl's story!

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

"When I was a kid, Mum liked to make food for dinner & I remember one night in particular when she had made dinner after a long, hard day at work. On that evening, Mum placed a bowl of mince keema and extremely burned chappatis in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet, all my dad did was reach for his chappatis, smiled at my Mum and asked me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my Mum apologized to my dad for burning the chappatis. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned chappatis.

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his chappatis burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your mum had a long hard day at work today and she's really tired. And besides... A burnt chappati never hurt anyone but harsh words do!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm not the best. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each others differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing and lasting relationship. So...please pass me a chappati. And yes, the burnt one will do just fine! And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life...I just did! Life is too short to wake up with regrets... Love the people who treat you right and have compassion for the ones who don't.

Reference: Nikah Explorer

How to effectively communicate with each other?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

By Noorul Irfana Mashooq Rahman.

We communicate with people on a daily basis, and what’s better than learning some important types of etiquette that could improve our daily interactions! I personally worked as an elementary school teacher in Sharjah for a period of time. After Allah  blessed me with my third child, I couldn’t get back to work and I didn’t miss the work environment much except for a few wonderful things that used to happen. I reminisced all those small, lovely things and especially remembered the peace greetings.

The school where I used to work, being an Islamic one, had the full Islamic greeting instilled in its students from an early age, so whenever I used to enter any classroom and utter the greetings of peace, the entire class would reply, ‘wa’alaykum as-salaam warahmatul laahi wa barakaatuh’ (and may the peace and blessings [of Allah] be upon you) in unison.

It was so beautiful, so pleasing to the ears and I had taken it for granted! Though I knew I could not have that many duas showered over me now that I was at home, I made a mental note to use every talking/meeting opportunity (provided the kids weren’t crying or in tantrum-mode) to say the full greeting to everybody with the hope of receiving the same beautiful greeting; a small decision with much to yield, In sha Allah.

We meet our brothers and sisters day in and day out. The sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ) has taught us everything including manners and etiquettes of communicating with people in meetings, gatherings and elsewhere. If we were to follow the sunnah when communicating with people, we would be earning ourselves a great deal of reward, In sha Allah.

So, let’s recall some fantastic communication tips from the sunnah. But before proceeding, remember that our intentions must be pure and sincere, and unnecessary communication with non-mahrams of the opposite sex should be avoided as much as possible:

1. Smile: The Prophet (ﷺ)  said:

“Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity.” [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]
Before you start talking, smile! This is an instant ingredient to start any conversation positively and to remove any past ill feelings that could be present.

Smiling brings joy to the giver and the receiver (imagine being both!).

2. Pay attention to the tone and volume: Beware of your tone and the volume of your voice. Your tone determines whether you will make your relationship or break it. Any undesirable loudness in your voice could put people off and make any further attempts to communicate futile.

“And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.” [Qur’an: Chapter 31, Verse 19]

3. Start with the Islamic greeting of peace: Whether you know this Muslim or not, the greeting of peace or saying ‘Assalaamu alaykum’ (peace be upon you) is recommended. It will repel hatred and create love between you.

“A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: Peace be upon you! He responded to his salutation. He then sat down. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: Ten [rewards]. Another man came and said: Peace and Allah’s mercy be upon you! He responded to his salutation when he sat down. He said: Twenty. Another man came and said: Peace and Allah’s mercy and blessings be upon you! He responded to him and said when he sat down: and blessings be upon you! He responded to him and said when he sat down: Thirty.” [Sunan Abi Dawud]

Habituate yourself with saying the full and complete greeting and earn 30 rewards every single time you greet someone!

4. Shake hands: Accompany your greeting with shaking hands (if you are greeting your mahram or a person of your gender).

“There are no two Muslims who meet and shake hands, but they will be forgiven before they part.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

5. Inquire about people: Ask them how they are doing and inquire about their health and well-being and that of their family and friends. They will feel loved and cared for.

6. Remember not all are the same: Consider people’s different characteristics and differences while communicating. Keep in mind their age, status, temperament and other factors.

7. Teach at every opportunity: The Prophet (ﷺ) used every chance to enjoin the good and forbid the evil. If there is ever a need for you to say something corrective in nature, do so gently.

8. Refrain from the common evils of the tongue: People getting together and communicating with each other often leads to falling into various sins related to the tongue such as talking about Allah  without knowledge, slandering, lying, insulting and cursing. These habits are grievous sins that eat away at our rewards and the barakah in our lives: make it a habit to ensure whether anything you are about to say may constitute any of these sins. And, if you were to indulge in joking, let the jokes be true. The Prophet (ﷺ)  said:

“A slave (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance, and because of that Allah will raise him to degrees (of reward): a slave (of Allah) may utter a word (carelessly) which displeases Allah without thinking of its gravity and because of that he will be thrown into the Hell-Fire.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

9. Choose simple, concise words: Avoid complex language and sophisticated terminologies. Instead, try to stick to concise words and phrases that are of eloquence and seek to be understood. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“I have been given superiority over the other prophets in six respects: I have been given words which are concise but comprehensive in meaning” […] [Sahih Muslim].

He (ﷺ) spoke with clarity and made people comprehend easily, sometimes by even repeating his words thrice.

10. Stay away from argumentation: Being nice is easy when you’re dealing with nice people. But, practically speaking, this world has more to it than such people. Despite your best efforts, you are bound to walk into not-so-nice people. Try not to fall into disputes and argumentation.

“And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength depart, and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).” [Qur’an: Chapter 8, Verse 46]

If you realize you are already in a dispute, be wise and argue with that which is better. Allah  says:

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.” [Qur’an: Chapter 41, Verse 34]

If you find the argument going nowhere positive, stop before you get angry, smile and retreat after trying your best to reconcile for when a man said to the Prophet (ﷺ)  “Advise me,” he said: “Do not get angry.” He repeated his question several times and again the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Do not get angry.” [Bukhari]

11. End with the greeting: Before departing, smile, shake hands and greet people warmly with the salam.

12. In writing, start with Allah’s Name: If you were to communicate in writing, in addition to the points above that are relevant, it is desirable to start your written communication with ‘Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem’ [In the name of Allah, the Continuously Merciful, the Especially Merciful]. This was done by the Prophet  numerous times when he dispatched letters to kings and heads of peoples and tribes.

So that was a list of the basic etiquette from the sunnah on communicating effectively with people. Smiling and starting with the salam, speaking kindly and gently, showing warmth by shaking hands or a hug, giving due respect and/or showing love by considering the position of whom you are addressing, saying only that which is good and beneficial, choosing to be patient and kind over being right, and always ending with a warm smile and the salam: what a beautiful way to create love in your brother’s or sister’s heart for you!

Here’s a verse to further motivate you to communicate the sunnah way:

“Whoever comes [on the Day of Judgement] with a good deed will have ten times the like thereof [to his credit], and whoever comes with an evil deed will not be recompensed except the like thereof; and they will not be wronged.” [Qur’an: Chapter 6, Verse 160]

I hope this reminder of communicating effectively by following the sunnah has benefited you, In-Sha-Allah. Do share great ways you’ve discovered or tried in communicating effectively with others.

I leave you with the best greetings: Wassalaamu alaykum warahmatul laahi wabarakaatuh! (May the peace and mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you).

Source: productivemuslim.com