Ramadan Traditions for Married Couples.

By Sister Megan.

1) Compete for serving each other a date or sip of water first. 

2) Pray together more often when possible in the home. 

3) Resist the temptation to chat during the time for dhikr after Salah. Support each other in finishing it.

4) Make sure to spend ten minutes hugging or touching before bedtime so that the exhaustion of fasting and taraweeh doesn't create too much separation between both of you. Touch is to be treasured for married couples.

5) Ask each other your Ramadan goals so you can be a source of compassion, support, and understanding for their greatest spiritual needs. 

6) When things get sluggish, be the one who encourages with love to keep going and doing extra acts of worship. 

7) Tune in: when you miss your spouse let them know verbally. It's ok to find the extra time away a little difficult. Use Fearless Vulnerability to let them know so their heart can catch up with yours. Just don't let the space lead to frustration and tension. 

8) Find ways to show more gratitude for each other. Make du'a for them verbally, drop an email, or leave a small note.

9) Welcome your spouse's desire to change rather than hold them to their "normal self." If they want Qur'an in the car vs. music, to attend the masjid for prayer vs. stay at home, allow the newness to be welcomed. 

10) Avoid shaming for who they are when they aren't as religious in one area as you'd prefer. Ramadan doesn't make a miracle change out of most of us. For one spouse, just fasting itself could be extremely difficult. For another, it's praying Fajr on time. One spouse may recite the whole Qur'an with ease, but another finds dhikr easiest for them to do. Whatever you say - make sure your intention is to show love, respect, gratitude, or support for your spouse this coming month and be a positive person in their life. 

*That alone is one of the greatest forms of da'wah you could ever hope for, and who better to be your best self to than your own spouse?* 

May Allah bless us all to find His infinite Mercy in Ramadan and find the fruits of those days in a cool Shade on the Day of Judgment, in the ability to fly over the sirat radiating beautiful light, and a celebration of pure joy and bliss with those we love in gardens in Jannah, with rivers, fields of green, towering trees, and other unimaginable beauty that Allah has created for those who seek Him.

She was with you when no one else...

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

She was with you when no one else knew you existed. She went through pain after pain to see you set foot on this earth. Her heart broke every single time you’d wake up in the middle of the night crying. She would sacrifice her sleep just to hold you in her arms. Tears would roll down her eyes every time you fell ill. You were helpless and weak, thus Allah made her your support and strength.

She would rather go hungry to ensure you were full, sleep in cold as long as you were wrapped up & warm and she would rather harm befell her if it saved you from any pain. And you know very well, if she could, she would do it all again.

She smiled when you smiled, she cried when you cried, she dressed you in the best of clothes even when her own were torn, she would listen to you repeating the same thing all day and never become bored. You found comfort in her arms, even when she was angry, you’d run to her instead of from her. She meant the world to you. She WAS your world. That is, when you were young…

Now that she’s old, weak and helpless, her love for you has only increased. Her heart still breaks when harm touches you. Your happiness still makes her happy. She would still sacrifice this world and everything in it for you. But, would you?

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." [Noble Quran 17:23-24]

Forgive me mum…

A Dad's speech at his Daughter's Wedding.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. It's time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy!

I am more than sure that you will keep her very happy. She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness which is making me say this over and over again- please keep her happy!

She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. I have raised her with my sweat and blood and now she is wonderfully perfect. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return- please keep her happy!

If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfil a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Do understand her- please keep her happy!

I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you- please keep her happy.

Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “please keep her happy!” 

May Allah grant all sisters in Islam husbands who protect them and take care of them and May Allah grant our brothers the ability to do so, Ameen.

A Muslim Wife | Hidden Pearl.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

It is reported that Shuraih, who was a judge, met ash-Sha'bi. This latter asked him about his life at home. Shuraih said: "I have not had any problem with my wife for twenty years. "ash-Sha'bi said: "How come?"

Shuraih replied: "On our wedding night, I looked at her and saw a rare fascinating beauty. I then said to myself: I should make Wudu', pray two Rakaa't  and praise Allah. When I finished, I found out that she was following me in prayers and finished as soon as I had finished. When the guest left the house. I moved towards her and tried to touch her. But she said: "Wait a minute O Abu Umayyah (i.e. Shuraih), stay where you are." Then, she said: "All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad ﷺ. I am a stranger to you and I have no idea about your morals and attitudes. So tell me what you like and I will do it, and what you hate and I will avoid it. She continued: There must be among your people a woman that "you could have married and a man among my people that I could have married, but Allah (swt) has given you control over me, so obey Him; either retain me on reasonable terms or release me with kindness. This is all I have to say and may Allah forgive us both."

Shuraih then, said: I found myself in need of giving a khutbah, which I had not delivered for quite a long time. I said: All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad ﷺ. You (i.e. his wife) have said many things, which, if you stand firm on them, you will be rewarded, but if you fail them, they will be evidence against you. I love such and such things, and I hate such and such things. You may spread whatever good deed you see, and conceal whatever evil deed you see. She then, said: "What would you say to my relatives visiting?" I replied: "I do not want your family to dictate things to me." She said: "Which of your neighbours do you want to visit me? I said: "The family of such and such are good people and the family of such and such are bad company.

Shuraih then, said: I had a wonderful wedding night and our first year was marvellous. When the new year came and upon my return from the court, I found a woman in my house, I asked my wife: 'Who is she?' My wife replied: 'Your mother-in-law.' My mother-in-law looked at me and asked: "How do you find your wife?" I said: 'The best wife a man can have.' She then said: 'O Abu Umayyah, you will be in a worse condition then her only in two cases; if she gives birth to a child of is she enjoys your favours. I swear that men have never seen inflicted with a worse evil then a spoilt woman. So discipline your wife.

I lived with my wife for twenty years and never complained about her, except once, and then I was unfair to her.

This is how a husband should be, how a wife should be and how a mother-in-law should be. May Allah have mercy on them and grant us to have such an attributes in the marriage life which eventually  bear fruits not only in this life but in the next life also and to meet at the hereafter In-Sha-Allah, Ameen.

Source: Kalamullah.com

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A Muslim Husband.

            In the  Name  of Allah, the  Most Gracious, the  Most Merciful.  

     

There was a man who loved his wife very much. The couple had 3 children. He could give her everything he could but the woman never appreciated. Though the man was not rich, he would share all that he had with her. He could buy for her clothes and the only thing his wife could say was that the husband was fulfilling his duty as a Man. The man would buy a dress but in reply, the woman would mock at him, because the dress was of low quality. The man would smile at his wife and tell her "one day, I will become rich and I will buy for you all the expensive things you need".

The woman could never make any phone call unless she was requesting anything from her husband and once her request was not granted, all she could do was to quarrel for days, sometimes fight. One evening, the man was coming from work, he bought a Kilogram of meat, happily the poor man expecting to surprise his wife, he reached home found the wife and showed her the package. Then she shouted: "eh! And you call yourself a man? Which husband, apart from you, do you think comes home with just one kilogram, no cooking oil, and no other ingredients? You better leave it, you're a good-for-nothing husband." Then she threw the meat in the bush and went back home. The Husband felt low but he never let down his love for her.

One day, the husband felt pain in his left foot, then a Tumor appeared on the foot, it then emerged growing big and more painful. He went to the hospital after several months of pain and was found with cancer, he was poor to have a better medical care.

Though he was sick he tried much as he could to provide for his family. Two years later the condition worsened and he was put in the special care unit, he was operated and the foot was removed, but unfortunately it was too late, the Virus had affected more parts of the body and at last he called his wife and told him, "Look after my children, i feel i can't live any longer though i'll always be with you in spirit, may Allah be with you". He then breathed his last and died. The woman, and three children cried, for days mourning, they buried him.

Two months later, the wife was crying by her husbands grave as she said these words:

"My love, you did all the best to me, you treated me well and gave me all you could, but all i could pay you, was endless quarrels and fights. I never realized your importance and your love until when you were gone, and when I'm the one to provide food, clothing, education and many others. I remember when i threw your one Kilogram of meat to the bush, but now i have nowhere to get even a Half a Kilo. 'The good die young' that's why you died when you were still young. A husband whom i could mock at but you only smiled at me. The husband who could care and had unending love.

I know you are listening to me and i ask you to forgive me for not appreciating all you did to me, when you were alive.

We are all missing your presence and your youngest daughter is always crying asking when you'll be back. But you will never leave our hearts until we Join you."

Moral

* Always appreciate what you are given, whether small or big.

* Love is not all about how much we have, but its all about how we share the little we have.

Relevancy
Have you ever taken time to thank Allah for what He has done for you?

Many people only remember Allah when they have problems and once their problems are solved, they don't take time, to thank Him or remain close to Him.

Oh Allah, I pray that you keep Your providence towards me always and give me an appreciating heart so that I'll always be thankful to whatever you give me, Ameen!

Source: NikahExplorer